Weird, Embarrassing, and Gross Moments in Running
Contributed by Stephanie Laska, M.Ed – Ambassador for The Biofreeze San Francisco Marathon, known for becoming “half” the person she used to be by losing 140 pounds and winning FIRST PLACE, Athena division, in her very first marathon (Modesto Marathon, 2015) – follow more of her story on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at @140lost.
Whether it’s withstanding mileage-induced hemorrhoids or being the accidental target of a snot-rocket, we have all experienced a Petri dish of weird, embarrassing, and gross moments while running.
These are not the moments we share on Facebook and Twitter:
“I’m so sore I can’t sit on the toilet!”
“I ate GU I found on the ground!”
“I only have seven toenails!”
You are not alone, my running friends. In fact, we are just getting started.
Leaking Body Parts – When the body jiggles and wiggles for miles upon miles, fluids often leak out. Have you ever noticed most runners wear black shorts? Case in point. Ladies – note the medical aid stations do not usually stock tampons (could there be any more of an emergency?). Before every man gets grossed out by that last comment, please look down and check your bloody nipples. Yes, a bib can cause chafing. Yes, we can all see.
Porta-Potty Nightmares – Trying to add an extra layer of underwear for leaking camouflage protection might backfire when trying to pull everything up in the latrine. Sweaty underwear twisted up in shorts equals five minutes of pure hell trying to discombobulate yourself. Oh, and you dropped your sunglasses? Now try to decide what is worse, wearing toilet-smelling glasses on your face for 26 miles or squinting into the sun? I myself have bravely chosen the former.
Great Legs, Fugly Feet – Black toenails, toenails hanging on for dear life, and bloody blisters? Despite all the fancy shoes we buy, our feet sometimes suffer the consequences of our obsession. But damn, our legs sure look great.
Public Urination, etc. – You probably thought you were wild and crazy urinating in the bushes during a 5 a.m. run in the dark. Race Day is a whole different story.
Trip and Fall – My dog has swept me off my feet twice, literally. Nothing like eating pavement in front of the carpool lane for everyone’s morning entertainment! (But yes, I kept running all scraped and bloody.) Even elites have, at one point or another, become running roadkill.
Long distance running is not for the faint of heart. When you push your body to run extreme miles, weird, embarrassing, and gross things start to happen. If you are new to the sport, be forewarned! Veteran runners? Unite and come out of the pitch-black porta-potty; you are not alone. We might look like a complete disaster and smell disgusting, but nothing will get in the way of crossing the finish line.
Let’s support each other. Let’s support each other. Connect with Stephanie on Twitter/Instagram @140lost or on facebook.com/140lost